Jane Blog: August 31, 2004

« August 30, 2004 | Main

August 31, 2004

Yeah, I’m in the Hospital General De Rio. But the worst part about this whole thing isn’t the rabies, it’s that in my drunken post-bite whirlwind I left my laptop on the beach. So while some idiot with a metal detector (or just eyes that work) is going through all my personal shit on my ibook, I’m on a computer at the nurse’s station and may have just deleted a file of patients and their medications. Oops.

But lemme tell ya, there’s nothing like a li’l rabies scare to speed up a relationship. Actually, they don’t even think it’s rabies, but just in case they shot me up with antibiotics and kept me here to see if I’d start frothing at the mouth. I haven’t yet but I did borrow some shaving cream from an orderly and put it on the corners of my lips and pretended I was frothing for Richard. I thought it was hysterical and was giggling throughout but he got REALLY mad – I’m talkin bulging pulsing thumping forehead vein mad. Richard said that I shouldn’t be joking around like that because I’m in the hospital and then I replied that this is exactly where joking around is needed! Did he not see Patch Adams? (neither did I and I’m sure it blew, but you get the point.) Anyway, I told him that I couldn’t be with someone who yelled at me for making a joke, to which he replied: “It’s only because I care about you and love you.” Yep, he said the “L” word, and he wasn’t talkin about the Showtime series with the cute dykey-dykes. But I was totally stumped and had NO idea how to respond -- say it back? Froth at the mouth s’more? Press the nurse’s call button and ask her? I ended up doing something I’ve never done in my entire life: I shut up. And it worked! (no wonder marlee matlin is married) Richard walked over, apologized and hugged the shit out of me.

Although I’m not sure if I love Richard back yet (guess I’m not as easy that way as I am in the having sex very very soon way), I have a good feeling about things. He’s cute and rich and we’ve had simultaneous orgasms (mine was louder).

So I’m sitting here in my tight blue denim sundress waiting for my official release, which Richard and the doctor are working out right now in the hallway -- but actually, since I don’t speak Portuguese, am not really sure. Oh geez, I hope he’s not a lying sack of shit who’s making a deal to sell my kidneys and other body parts! Maybe he’s not even a banker and he got rich from stealing spleens! I better pick up one of those rings that ejects pepper-spray just in case…. but in the meantime, we're heading off to the Amazon to see rainforest-y crap. (no offense, Sting!) So I'll keep borrowing computers whenever I can to keep you guys posted on how Richard and I are doing... and if I still have all my organs.

By the way, people keep asking me if the fact that I’m in Rio means that “Good Girls Don’t” isn’t coming back. I have no clue, pals. But if you DO want to see more of “Good Girls Don’t”, please write to [email protected]

Meanwhile, I’ll be here and Oxygen has my number in Brazil. So until then… Ciao, fuckers!

Posted at 03:00 AM | Permalink

Comments

http://miautotimes.com

Posted by: Greg Dony` | June 22, 2011 at 08:12 AM

http://miautotimes.com

Posted by: Greg Dony | June 22, 2011 at 08:11 AM

http://brownricesyrup.info
http://riding-lawn-mowers.info
http://lahoreconnect.info

Posted by: sweet rice syrups | November 15, 2010 at 01:20 AM

nice post , i really enjoyes it,
i was just writing about brown rice syrups and about a forum known aslahore connect which is very boring, but you post was very refreshing, thanx

Posted by: sweet rice syrups | November 15, 2010 at 01:14 AM

Oh man! Losing your laptop with all your personals is terrible! It happened to a friend once and she freaked! Good thing you are still able to keep smiling!

Posted by: Dentist Clearwater | August 27, 2009 at 07:28 PM

Posted by: soso | January 31, 2009 at 06:05 AM

Hi Jane

Posted by: suli | December 31, 2008 at 01:43 PM

Posted by: Jack1 | May 30, 2005 at 01:14 AM

hi jane,
my name is milad gheisari, i from bushehr,iran
this is your weblog is very good

Posted by: milad gheisari | March 10, 2005 at 10:15 AM

Just be surfing around in net. I definitely fpund a very informal place with a lot of good stuff for everybody. I will
certainly visit your site again sometime. Really good work.

Posted by: Marc Even | January 13, 2005 at 02:22 AM

I enjoy reading through this informal place. I Just be surfing around in net. I definitely fpund a very informal place with a lot of good stuff for everybody. I will
certainly visit your site again sometime. Really good work.

Posted by: Rai | November 18, 2004 at 01:27 AM

I love love love the show.

I sure hope it comes back soon!

love

kim

Posted by: Kim | October 16, 2004 at 10:48 AM

Hey you're not real, Bill Clinton is real: http://billclintondailydiary.blogspot.com

Posted by: Kevin Jones | September 17, 2004 at 05:03 PM

Hi Jane, from one 'character' to another, you rock. Topless sangriabeer on the copa. Reminds me of some wildness back in my day (woodstock 69 if you know what i mean). Anyway, I'm hoping to use the popularity of your blog to help me find my long lost thrill jockey from the festival. Rocketman Rogers sure had an impact, i'm still thinking of him over 30 years later. I'm hoping to spark a reunion in NYC this fall. My video shout out to his lovetastic legacy is here: http://boomercoalition.org/bc3/reunite.asp

Posted by: Grooovy Love | September 16, 2004 at 05:01 AM

If questioned, all you have to say is, "Hey, there's hot chicks on that show". Real men understand.

Posted by: Another James | September 15, 2004 at 10:15 PM

Yeah I too am a straight guy and I watched the show by accident and became hooked. Until then, based on the commercials, I had sworn I would never watch it. Plus, like some guy said, the name does sound like "girls behaving badly" and that show absoultely sucks! Unwatchable. Plus that horrible VO announcer in the GGD commercials made me not want to watch. I was so against watching GGD that when I woke up and saw it was starting, I searched frantically for my remote, but thank god I couldn't find it and was too lazy to get up because by the end of the second episode I was calling my sister and every woman I know trying to get them to watch. EVERYONE who watched it loved it including my 54 year old mother. I was so against watching the show and so trying to diss it but I was comepletely won over. I'm looking forward to the return of GGD (PLEASE) more even than Family Guy. Of course I could never tell any dudes about it! Just like some guy said, I know exactly what would happen. But I'm telling everyone's wife or girlfriend and I bet we'll have a lot of crossovers that way. Good luck and I hope you return. Your show is the only watchable original show on that entire network...but more than that, it is truly great.

Posted by: James | September 15, 2004 at 09:54 AM

thanks for the oxygen email address... I hope they read the email i sent asking to bring the show back. I liked it alot. And I'm a guy(not gay). But alot of my friends call me otherwise, when i tell them that I liked this Tv show on Oxygen called "Good Girls Don't". So maybe, if the show does come back, you can get the producers to change the name to be less feminine, so that my friends wont disparage me.

Also maybe the name change will help the ratings.
I think it would. Funny is funny. And the show was funny. But the guys are being put off my the name... and also I think everyone who does hear about GGD, get it confused with the other show on Oxygen "Girls Behaving Badly". Wut the hell is that?

Posted by: Some guy | September 14, 2004 at 11:57 PM

When are you "coming out" of the woods, I love reading the tales trials and tribulations. I hope
that the show come back and you bring your talents to Denver one day soon. I am going to send an email requesting the shows presence be returned to us.

Posted by: chuckd | September 12, 2004 at 10:58 PM

larry,

you're totally welcome!

xo,
jane

Posted by: jane | September 05, 2004 at 03:26 PM

Thanks for all the great posts, Jane. Hope to see you on the blog and on TV again soon!

Posted by: larry | September 02, 2004 at 03:09 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.