Well, it turns out I don’t need to know Portuguese because nobody understands a word I’m saying yet I’m having the time of my life. Between smartypants Richard speaking five different languages and my expertise in charades when he’s not around, I’m getting by just fine. Talking is overrated, anyway. And I can always blog to you guys in English to get things off my topless chest. (yes, I’m topless right now on the Copa blogging and drinking beer.... or is it sangria? i'm not sure, am really fucking drunk.)
So it turns out I’m one of the few blonds in Rio so I’m getting plenty of male attention. Very different from L.A. where everybody, including black people and Koreans are blond. Another thing that’s different is that here everyone walks around wearing hardly anything and they’re FAT! I’m serious! Fat women, fat men, fat children… all prancing about in thongs and speedos! So THIS is where my tribe’s been hiding. (Although I’m not as fat as most of them.)
Okay, onto the important stuff: Richard. I might just be in love with him. I’ve never said it, never wrote it, never even thought it -- except once when I saw this cute little pug puppy at the Beverly Center. But that's a different kind of love, I think. Will keep you posted, but so far, so good. We spent the entire weekend sightseeing –- took a chair lift to see a giant Jesus on a big hill (would love to sneak over at 3AM and pierce one of his bigass granite nipples), took a bus to see a favella (village) of people who are very poor yet very happy, not unlike JJ Walker on “Good Times.” And we got our picture taken on a plate in front of the old section of town. So if I ever get really pissed at Richard, I can cover his face with ketchup and pretend his head’s bleeding… or just smash him into pieces against the wall.
Oh, shit! A stray dog just bit me! Richard says I have to stop blogging and go to the hospital cause I might have rabies. Yikes! Bye.
I has a nice body and like to get sun why do you fools wear shorts past your knees to sun, and why do call us trash when you wear diry clothes to restraraunts and wear dirty baseball caps as if they were a crown even to clubs and dinner.You peoples think you are good and call us trash. I am Swedish and Duetch and think americans are bad for this.
Posted by: technical writer | May 05, 2011 at 07:09 AM
I find this whole shit about Eurotrash offenskive. You peoples think you are good and call us trash. I am Swedish and Duetch and think americans are bad for this. Yes we wear nice clothes to the airports and discotheques it is called class. And yes, I am a young man and yes I wears a speedo as you say, we all do to the beach and pools. I has a nice body and like to get sun why do you fools wear shorts past your knees to sun, and why do call us trash when you wear diry clothes to restraraunts and wear dirty baseball caps as if they were a crown even to clubs and dinner. This word eurotrash is bad, maybe we should starting a new word for you called ameritrash which equals dirty, rude, and fat. Many of you has come come from our blood and if you came to our country you would be the trash.
Johansson
Posted by: JOHANSSON | January 13, 2005 at 09:51 PM
Wow, I hope you're alright as far as the dog bite thing goes. By the way, on a side note, you've gotta be one of the best damn drunk writers in the world. Correct punctuation (more or less), proper spelling (again more or less), and it made sense. What can I say, awesome.
-F.P.
Posted by: Frog Prince | August 31, 2004 at 12:48 PM