August 23, 2004

Yay, it’s answer Friday but on Monday not friday. Lots of problems this time of year. Maybe it’s because the moon is in its lunar phase of mercury while waxing and waning at parallel lines… yeah, I’m making shit up. But here’s my advice anyway:

Dear Jane,
My boyfriend told me he’s gonna break up with me if I keep asking him if he loves me. He says I need too much reassurance. Do I? What do you think? Am I too insecure? HELP!
Patti
Provo, Utah

Dear Patti,
You’re a mess. Stop it stop it stop it. Would you like it if a guy kept bugging you about how you felt about him? (Come to think of it, I would). But YOU have to stop. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t like you! Unless you’re really rich or he’s very gay. Btw, we’re all insecure underneath if it makes you feel better, ya big loser. Kidding, but seriously, stop asking him. And you sound very Jewish, what are you doing in Provo?
xo,
Jane

Dear Jane,
We used to have parties and drink every time someone got laid on GGD! When will it be on again?!!
Trevor
Vineland, New Jersey

Sweet Trevor,
I have no clue. But you could ask Oxygen by writing an email to: [email protected]. And tell ‘em you think I should have sex with George Clooney. Or Justin Timberlake. Or just some really hot guy that can bench-press a lot at Gold’s Gym.
xo,
Jane

Dear Jane,
My sister and I like the same guy. To avoid a family fight, we were thinking of having a 3-way with him. Would that be incest?
Emily
Big Sur, California

Emily,
Yes, sweetie, it’s incest. But the good news… if you two are hot, or better yet, hot twins, tape it and sell it online for $49.99 (a random number, but it seems right, right?) And if you know how to enunciate (must know what that means, too) then call up Howard Stern and get your sisterly butts down there and start a website. Good luck (but only if you’re hot, if not, just have sex and keep it to yourself).
xo,
j

Thassit! Have a super Monday. Go do a summersault in the grass and eat too much. Summer’s almost over so no more bathing suits!! YIPPEE!

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[July]

I need GGD! They haven't played it in like a month! It all of a sudden vanished!That was one of the only shows I watched and I need to see more! I should just get a ride down to L.A. and see you! Yea, that would rock...If someone would be willing to drive me for 8 hours. Well bye hope the show comes back on soon!