I’d hate to be Michael Phelps right now. Sure, he already has three golds and two bronze, but he’ll STILL be considered a loser when he comes home. I guess that’s what happens when you (or your posse or your mom, or the guy who sold you your goggles) brag that you’re gonna get EIGHT golds and that you’re a fish who’s uncomfortable out of the water. I wonder if Mark Spitz is secretly saying ‘na na na na na’… or some other mocking song that swimmers have developed. And Mark Spitz, not to worry, you’re cuter than Phelps even now, and you’re old. Plus you had to swim with a handicap – that giant mustache which weighed the same as Olga Korbut. And nobody’s looked that good in a Speedo since.
Meanwhile, in my next life when I enter the Olympics it’ll be for gymnastics, because inside, I’m a Tinkerbell, too. And if I were born in Romania I would’ve started training in diapers, and then as soon as I hit ten, I’d be prancing around nervously with a too-tight ponytail and glitter mascara and very broad shoulders for my height. And when I wasn’t performing triple flips and no handed backbends I’d be on the lookout for hot NBA players to party with. Did anyone else see Allen Iverson in the opening parade? He is so sexy! I love a cute thug. BTW: not a big basketball fan, but did he just get a bunch of tattoos?
But back to gymnastics and glitter mascara. I knew since day one that those Romanian pixies would beat team USA. Just look at them, they’re the cutest little bendy ballerinas I’ve ever seen – I’d like to buy a few to put on the top of a cake and make ‘em dance. (That makes no sense, does it? But then again neither does starving yourself so your boobs get stuck inside your ribcage.)
Hey, big congratulations to blogerette Andrea Harner on her engagement. Nice ring, Jonah!
i love a cute thug too! a i is just that.
Posted by: t.odom | January 18, 2005 at 05:53 AM