So this lady with long brown stringy hair came into the salon and asked if she could get her hair cut and I replied: “Sure, but I need ten minutes to finish up with a client. Have a seat and help yourself to some herbal tea.” And then she FREAKED out and started screaming at me that I’m lazy. Now granted, I AM lazy, but at this particular moment I was blow-drying a shag, fucker! Anyway, the impatient bitch then ran out of the salon but forgot her purse. I kinda wanted to steal everything in it, but my client was watching so I took the high road and followed stringhead out the door to give her back her stringy yellow macramé purse (big ew). And here’s the clincheroo: her car was a Toyota Tercel that had the passenger seat removed so her three huge dogs could fit inside -- two giant great danes (what’s so “great” about cleaning up shit the size of your own head?) and a massive greyhound. I asked her why she removed the passenger seat, I mean, wouldn’t it be easier to get a bigger car since you own three of the largest pets known to mankind? And she snapped back: “Because people suck!” Well, right this second, I’m agreeing with you lady. If I knew you were gonna be such an asshole, I would've gotten peroxide in your eyes and then pretended to sneeze so I wouldn’t get in trouble/sued. (I didn’t say all that, but I should’ve. Instead I think I said “oh.”)
So if any of you ever see a Toyota Tercel with the passenger seat missing and 3 very sad giant dogs in it, feel free to give the driver the finger… or slap an annoying decal onto her rear windshield like the Calvin and Hobbes kid pissing.
Okay, I gotta admit, after having a glass of wine mid-blog (trader joe’s charles shaw merlot $1.99 a bottle), I now have an eentsy bit of compassion for stupid dog lady. She probably prefers animals to people cause she grew up getting felt up and f#@ked by her immediate and extended family at the Thanksgiving table. Or she just hates people.
ha ha! that was great - and I too love the "two buck chuck" from trader joes1
Posted by: Sky | August 11, 2004 at 06:59 AM