Guess where I am now? At the AIRPORT! Late last night Richard called from Brasilia, Brazil (which is not only fun to say but looks cool typed out) to tell me that he had to leave early to set up his bank and that if I fly out tonight he’ll meet me in Rio in the morning for hot love on the Copa… Copacabana… the hottest spot north of Havana. (He actually started singing that which grossed me out a little, but he’s so sweet I’m gonna let it slide. Plus, he really likes me and not just cause I’m easy and small down there.)
So I’m at the airport. I told Marjorie, who freaked and cried and ate the remainder of Frank Jr’s pie (minus the whipped cream, damn her self control!) Then B, D & L came over and they all assured me that I’d be home in no time. Why can’t anyone see me in a happy long lasting relationship? Why can’t I see myself in a happy long lasting relationship? Is it because I’m moody and will fuck anything in sight? Anyhow, everyone drank to me and then kissed me goodbye, and I slipped ‘em all the tongue, including Marjorie. Lizzie wanted more, but I put my foot down. What I don’t need right now is a lezzy encounter with someone with a better body than me. And for the record, if I ever do switch teams, I want a Birkenstock wearin’ electrolysis-hatin’ strong calved lady so I can be the hottie who turns heads!
What I really wish is that Richard was here right now so we could board that plane and join the mile high club. I’ve never done that and always wanted to and it seems like it’ll be really tough now with all the security and stuff… unless it’s with an air marshall, but aren’t they always in disguise? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with cheating on Richard before I even get to Rio, is there? I've only known him for one night and then a weekend. And who knows, he could be 69'ing a bank teller as I sit here diligently blogging. Besides, they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What about what happens in a metal tube in the clouds staying in a metal tube in the clouds? Yeah, I’m a slut. But a slut who’s on the road to being faithful to one guy. Who happens to own a fucking bank. Coincidence? I’m not even sure at this point.