Long story short, guess who’s asleep in my bed right now as I blog? Frank Junior. He was actually the LAST guy I thought I’d hear from considering the fact that I fucked his father. But that doesn’t seem to bother him. He said he’s been thinking about me a lot and wants to get together. (And I gotta work fast if I’m supposed to be in Rio in a month.)
Anyway, remember how Frank Sr was a lot of fun and kept me laughing? Well, this just in: Junior’s a sourpuss and I can’t wait till he gets the fuck out of my house (although it’s an apartment but house has more oomph). It started at dinner when he bragged about how he saves money on shampoo by taking friends’ shampoo bottles when they get sick of them. THIS is a selling point?! And then when he got dessert (peach/rhubarb pie extra whipped cream) he couldn’t finish it. What man takes home pie in a doggie bag?! Old ladies do, sometimes kids, occasionally people with stomach problems, but not a grown man! FINISH YOUR FUCKING PIE, BITCH! I know, you’re all probably wondering why he’s in my bed if I have such disdain. Well, after he walked me back here he politely asked to come in for a "glass of water". (Note to virgins: askin for a glass of water means they wanna F you; it’s just pre-foreplay and more romantic than asking to pee.)
So I gave him water and then he showed that he’d inherited Senior’s kissing skills, so, well… he’s in my bed. But right after sex, I mean :03 seconds after, he asked to take a shower. I thought, oh, a clean freak, I’ve had plenty of them, but it gets worse. Junior asked for a fresh washcloth. Do people really use washcloths after seventh grade? I mean, besides children and old ladies and quite possibly midgets – although to them it would seem like a towel… Anyway, I dug one up and he was happier to see that washcloth than he was when he came.
Some other things that got on my nerves: he had socks with martini glasses on them that he was a little TOO proud of and he cleared his throat every nine seconds. Go easy on the dairy products, Mr. Coughee! Oh, and another thing that bugged me? Frank Junior doesn’t know how to use his upper body strength during sex so I felt totally crushed. I feel like telling his father on him.
Richard and Brazil are looking very good right now.