So the possibility of my leaving town for a while has hit Marjorie big time. She claims she’s upset because she’ll need to cover both our rents, but I know the truth: She’s bumming that I might’ve found a guy before her. I told her to relax, I’m sure even if I DO go meet Richard we won’t settle down and get married and have a bevy (or collection, you guys pick the plural noun) of miscarriages and whatnot, but she’s convinced that because I SAY it’s not going to happen it will. I’m convinced that cause she said THAT now it won’t.
But I’m not leaving so soon because I’ve gotta build up a big FU for my boss. She’s been paying me shit and having bitchy mood swings and making me sweep dead hair for 2 years, so she’s earned it. And you wonder why you’re single, bitchado!
Also, I have some loose “guy” ends to tie up. I mean, I want to milk this and make a big announcement that I’m going away and then whoever wants to date/sleep/anally violate me (but in a legal, non-Kobe manner) before I leave can. So I called up or emailed or sent a mental message out to deaf Charlie, black Pep Boys boy, guitar teacher guy, mactor (mailman/actor), Frank Sr,, Frank Jr. (remember, I dated both?) split tongue guy and the guy who woke up in my bed that was either a bartender or on grounded for life… and guess who called back? NOBODY! I checked my answering machine from work and Bella’s like eighteen times to make sure the power didn’t go off for a minute and see if I needed to rush home to reset it, but it DIDN’T! Damn! At least if I lived through that hurricane in Florida, I’d have an excuse for the phone not ringing. And hurricanes could be fun and a great opportunity for sex; I mean, what else is there to do during/after a hurricane? I guess you could try getting the tree out of your living room, but you could still do that before and after sex. And if you’re a guy you could pretend that the tree is your cock and capable of crashing through shingles.
Anyhow, I don’t care if I have to blow a cabbie, but I’m having some fun before I hit Rio and sound like a retarded Portuguese-speaking woman.