Yay, it’s Answer Friday and I’m getting on a plane in five hours! Must try to nag/flirt my way into first class. But for now, onto some pressing issues:
Can guys fake orgasms?
In Alaska, I’m not so sure, but I live in LA where most guys are actors, so they can fake ANYTHING. Here’s what would happen: they’d make groany moany sounds and then a big “aaaaaugh!” and then they’d run off to the bathroom and flush the empty condom. So if you’re really wondering whether your guy is a fakey fake, get your paws on that rubber before he runs to flush! Or slip a tiny video camera into the reservoir tip before sex.
This question was ironically inspired by one of your recent blog entries. I've heard a lot of girls complain about bad kissers before but they never say what MAKES it bad. What do girls look for in kissing (besides a clean mouth cuz I can take care of that part)? I just don't wanna end up being someone else's "Captain Shitty Kisser." If it's not too much trouble please answer. Thanks.
Dear Frog Prince,
Don’t let your tongue sit there like a limp noodle, but don’t let it be a roto rooter either. It should be somewhere in between, kind of a swirly thing, like you’re tasting frozen yogurt in slow motion. And if the other action (humping, touching, etc ) gets heated, then the tongue movement should accelerate – in blender speak from a swirl to a whip, but definitely not a puree. Hey, I just realized that you've inspired me to come up with the perfect advice to give MY Captain when I see him! Thanks, Frog Prince! Good luck to us both!
I’ve been with the same guy for 8 years and I don’t think he’s going to marry me. I’m 36 and feel my biological clock ticking. What should I do?
Here’s what you should do: Get a clue and break up with him! Eggs, unlike delicious sperm, don’t last forever.