So yesterday Mary Kay LeTourneau was released from prison and she’s not supposed to contact former pupil and lovah Vili Fualaau (just the name alone sounds like he’s good in bed). And supposedly he really wants to see her now! I realize that she was 34 and he was 12 when they boinked and that’s not right at all (although I did read that he reached puberty at 10, but still it’s not right, don’t attack me everyone.)
The point is NOW Mary Kay is 43 and he’s 21 so why keep them apart? They’re both consenting adults, they should be allowed to live their sad, white trash, dysfunctional lives like the rest of America! Plus, she has 2 kids with him and 4 of her own so it’s not like her life is gonna be a big party (unless she starts having sex with ‘em! Kidding, that would be wrong.) Mary Kay’ll be stuck in peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and dirty laundry and sippy cups for the next twenty years! So let the poor chick have a little fun. She just spent almost a decade in jail where the only sex she probably got was with the toilet plunger (Did anyone else see that old Linda Blair prison movie? It kinda traumatized/turned me on.) Bottom line, you don’t see Tony Randall getting yelled at because he dated a woman half his age. Okay, he’s dead, but still. Some live examples: Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, Nick Cage and that teenaged sushi waitress (bet she gave him the large sake when he ordered the small; good thinkin’ lincoln!) Demi and Ashton (yay face lifts), and let’s not forget Cameron and Justin who I believe are back together much to my chagrin because he was supposed to be MY boyfriend. I have to repeat, I’m not advocating having sex with minors at all and I’m certainly not into it myself. Although the WB network does have some young hotties on that don’t look half bad. But actors on TV who play 16 are usually 30 in real life, so I wouldn't be robbing the cradle, I'd actually be in it.
Just googled the Linda Blair movie: It’s called “Chained Heat” and is about a girl stuck in prison with sadistic crack-selling lesbian rapist inmates. That, to me, is a great date movie. Speaking of dates, gotta start packing now for date weekend in NY with Captain Shitty Kisser!