July 1, 2004

This morning at starbucks I spilled my grande 2 pump mocha latte all over and not only did they give me a new one for free, but a v. hot guy helped me clean it up. And it turns out hot guy is a freelance stage manager and he might be able to get me hair/makeup work on awards shows. Yay! I’d love to say FU to boss lady and the stupid salon. (Boss lady’s freaked out cause she’s been doing IVF with some donor sperm and it ain’t takin in the Petri dish. I feel bad for her, but it doesn’t mean she has to be a BITCH to all.) Anyway, would love to get my career going and be a little more in the biz than occasionally trimming eve plumb’s bangs. It'd be so cool to make up stars and trophy girls and dick clark and tight-butted dancer guys -- like britney’s husband-to-be. Why am I so damn jealous of britney?! When I can afford therapy, will look into that. Am also kinda jealous of mary kate. Before I felt sorry for her, because she has all that money and can’t digest food, but now it turns out she’s a cokehead, too?! So she had FUN while getting addicted?! It’s not fair. I’d rather picture her at the family thanksgiving -- ashley’s pigging out joyfully while poor mary kate dips lettuce in mustard then hurls it back up in her pink porcelain bidet. But instead she’s been out partying all night with hot guys at the best clubs in town that I can only get into if I blow the bouncer! (and sometimes not even). I can’t help it, I think rehab sounds glamorous. Especially when you’re worth 150 million bucks. Maybe when I invent my own makeup line I can go dry out somewhere. I'll bet guys in rehab are great in bed. btw, bouncers ain't, especially the ones whose heads are too small for their bodies.